Dear Robyn and Skippy;
I am in the process of starting my career. I am having some trouble with the career getting going, but that is something I expected. My issue is this.
Recentish (about mid March or so) I got dumped by a girl who I am rather fond of. This is the part where things get complicated. It was a short relationship (about two and half months). But the whole time was probably some of the most amazing interactions I have ever had in a relationship. I was blown away. I am never one to say I love a person first nor is it something that happens quickly. This was not the case here. I fell for her. She fell for me. It was one of those deals where we both didn’t believe it was happening but it was. We just understood each other intimately and quickly. It was easy. Soul mate-like if you will. There was some “magic” to it all.
Just so we are clear. I am normally a very logical/pragmatic and direct person. I take my time getting to know people in depth and letting them see who I am truly. This girl, it was like all of our stories and life just came out.
Ok now that all is made somewhat clear, she had an ex who abused her during their relationship and after the break-up continued to harass her. He was good at making sure very little of the harassment could be proved too. I saw the texts and the emails and the phone calls and I saw how she was after any interactions involving him. We attempted to scare him away with the police but that basically did not a thing. After that she realized she needed to get away from guys intimately.
She didn’t feel like she could give me what I needed in the relationship (This is something I personally feel a little responsible for). She broke up with me and was crying the whole time she did it. I want her to be happy but I also have to take care of myself. We have spoken twice since then and both times I initiated it. They were right after the fact.
Since early May I have not spoken to her in any form. Some days I am perfectly fine and some days I am a freaking mess. I am trying to help her by not contacting her, but I just want to know if she is ok and all. I have some attachment issues in the sense that I value close companionship very much.
So here is the lovely deal now. I may be having to move back to Fort Collins soon and that is where she will be. We travel is semi similar circles. I will keep my resolve as best I can but is there something I can do to help myself more? Or do I need to buck up and keep trudging forward?
Read Robyn’s response here: She Says: Keep Trudging Forward | Ask Us Fort Collins
Read Skippy’s response here: He Says: Get Over It | Ask Us Fort Collins
Leave a comment and tell us what you think Steadfast Lover should do?