Dear Bah Humbug,
Oh man, I hear ya! I don’t want to stop celebrating Christmas all together, but I am over all the holiday drama that inevitably creeps up on me every year. I’ve said this before and I will say it again: It is the people in you life that can make or break Christmas, and honey, you’ve got a bunch of ball busters. Christmas ball busters. Shiny-red-ornament-on-the-tree-ball busters. Crunch.
So, what did you think was going to happen when you told your family that you want to skip Christmas? I am guessing that you are barricading yourself from Christmas because of your overbearing family. I bet the conversation went something like this:
You: “Hi [parent]. This year I’ve decided not to come home for Christmas because I don’t believe in the holiday, nor do I like it or want anything to do with it ever again”
Parent: “Very Funny [whatever your real name is]. What time can we expect you? Oh, and here is our Christmas list and what we need you to bring…”
And then you parent proceeded to ignore everything you had to say until they started to put up a fuss about your wishes for a year without Christmas.
Am I close?
It’s too bad that we can’t choose our family.
It is a sad, sad fact. Thank God we can chose our friends. I really think that you just can’t get out of Christmas with your relatives without hurting somebody’s feelings. And why is that? Why should we be forced to spend the holiday with people who we don’t even like? The season that is supposed to bring out the best in people, really just brings out the worst. I wish I could hand pick each of my relatives who I like, throw a big Christmas party at my house with lots of booze and board games, presents and dancing and have a holly jolly time without anyone else. This is not the way the world works, or the holidays for that matter.
I do have to say this: One day you might regret not spending time with your family. “Might” being the key word. I used to avoid spending too much time at Christmas with my dad because of my evil stepmother. My dad has now passed and I would give anything to spend just one more Christmas with him, even if the bimbo he chose to leave my mom for had to be there too. It would be worth it. A million times over, it would be worth it. I miss him every day.
Back to your problem. The way I see it, there are only three ways you can get out of being with your family for Christmas:
1. You are either sick (to the point of dying).
2. Out of the country, or, at least, on vacation far away. Like at least two states away.
3. There is a blizzard or other natural disaster.
The third option is not likely. We have been blessed with a warm winter and I hope it stays that way (sorry, I’m not sorry).
I am thinking the second option is your best bet when it comes to avoiding the holidays with your relatives. Plan a trip, far away, with all the money you would have spend on buying gifts for your relatives and get as far away as possible. Far. Away. Though, then you run into the joys of traveling during the holidays with billions of other people who are traveling during the holidays. And, your relatives will still be here when you get back. And probably pissed.
There really is no simple solution to your problem, I’m afraid. I guess the most important lesson we all need to learn around the holidays is that it is not a time to be selfish. This simple thought is so hard to grasp. Where is the line between not being selfish, and succumbing to the misery just to make everyone else happy? I wish I knew, and I wish I could help you more. It is up to what you really want to deal with or, rather, what you can deal with. Remember, your family does love you, even though it seems like you are on trial and headed for death row. This is just their fucked up way to show how much they really do care.
Try and have a Merry Christmas. It is just one day out of the year. Do what I do and prepare for the worst and hope for the best. It really is the only thing we can do to survive the holiday season.
What did you think about Robyn’s advice? Comment below and check back on Friday to see what Skippy has to say!