Dear Married with Misgivings;
Congratulations on the hall pass. Them things can be hard to come by and lack of a hall pass often leads to sneaking around in the shadows. Now that you’ve earned it you have an obligation to use it responsibly. Because with great power comes great responsibility. Unless you are in government.
Let’s take a look at each of the concerns you raise.
You don’t know where to begin.
As with most things you begin at the beginning. Initially you have two choices for what sort of person (or people?) you’re going to share your hall pass with. People you already know or people you don’t already know.
If the answer is people you already know then you know where to begin. Unless you are completely oblivious to others you already know which of your friends would be willing to share your hall pass. Approach them and see if they are interested.
Your other option is people you don’t already know. There’s the obvious place to meet people. Bars and breweries. I read on the interwebz that we have some of those in Fort Collins. What if the sorts of people you meet at bars are not the type of people you’re looking for or if bars are not your scene. There are online sites such as OkCupid or FetLife depending on where your interests lie on the spectrum. There’s hanging out in Old Town Square. There’s the supermarket. (Little known secret, 100% of people who have sex also eat food.) There’s the library. Are you familiar with CSU campus? I wonder if anyone on campus likes to fuck. I mean, punch a hall pass.
Essentially the best place to meet people who will share your hall pass with you is wherever you happen to be at the time. You don’t explicitly say so but I’m assuming you’re a woman. If you’re at least reasonably attractive it’s not going to be that difficult to start conversations with potential pass punchers.
You could also email a picture of yourself to me. I might be interested.
Where to begin?
- Figure out what sort of person you’re looking for.
- Determine where that person would be.
- Go there and don’t look at your cell phone. Interact with other people. Radical concept I know.
You have misgivings about facing the meat market.
That’s because you refer to it as the “meat market”. By thinking about it in those terms ahead of time you are already creating a negative impression in your mind. When you frame it that way of course you don’t want to deal with it. No sane person would.
What you have to do is reframe the situation so that it’s positive and enjoyable. An adventure. Something you will enjoy. Something you’re not going to take too seriously. In the process of finding somebody to punch your hall hall pass you are going to have some uncomfortable moments and face rejection. That’s part of the process.
Don’t view this process as an unpleasant task. View the process as a game. Have fun with it. Don’t take it seriously. Don’t become so emotionally attached to the results such that failure or rejection becomes something you take personally.
You’re afraid this may lead to you into wanting a permanent hall pass.
I think you are getting way ahead of yourself. If you are going to avoid doing things because you might want to do more of those things then you’re not gonna do very much. You are also operating under the assumption that having a hall pass all the time would necessarily be a bad thing. Just because you have a hall pass every day of the year doesn’t mean you have to use it.
You are afraid of emotional attachment.
I would hope you have some kind of emotional attachment to whomever you share your hall pass with. This doesn’t mean wanting to marry this person and have babies but it would be a good thing if you had some emotional attachment. Unless total emotional detachment is what you are looking for. That is harder to come by (get it?) than you might think.
This raises the spectre of what I call the “Only One Love Syndrome” which permeates our society. The idea that you can only love one person. As if you have some limited amount of the emotion called love and it can only be bestowed upon one person and once you’ve bestowed it upon that person you run out.
You feel like you might become physically addicted.
Good news. There is no such thing as addiction.
Let me write that again because virtually everybody reading this just pissed themselves. Addiction is one of the great religions of the modern times. It’s a social constructs that no one is allowed to question because so many people make so much money from addiction.
There is no such thing as addiction.
Read the book Addiction Is A Choice by Jeffrey A. Schaler PhD and he will explain it to you.