And now I bring you some very personal lessons I have had to learn.
Let me begin by saying that I don’t really believe in stereotyping. Not all stereotypes are true. I decided to do a bit of research before I began my stories to see what our lovely interwebz brought up as examples of stereotypes. Most of it is raciest and sexiest and just plain insulting.
Here are some of the things I found and what I think of the stereotype:
All white guys can’t dance. Not true. Has anyone seen Channing Tatums moves? I mean, come on.
All British have bad teeth. I lived there, I looked for it. The English are a charming people with as nice a teeth as Americans.
Guys are Messy and Unclean. False. My Uncle is the biggest neat freak I’ve ever met.
Red Heads are Sluts. Both of my sisters have red hair and they are actually quite prudish.
Women are always moody. Well, it depends on the woman, or the person for that matter. I have met many a moody brooding man.
I think that’s enough. True, stereotyping is unfair; but it is also sometimes truthful. This is why stereotyping exists. The problem lies in judging something or someone before you get to know them. Only by knowing them can you figure out if the stereotype holds any truth. Even then, it is a mean way to view the world and the people in it; which is why I chose not to do so, even though I have been burned by stereotypes.
LLTHW Stereotype 1: The Evil Stepmother
I seriously think I win the award for having the worst stepmother in the world (maybe not, but I am sure I would at least be a runner up). I am sure that there are plenty of wonderful step-moms out there, but mine was a nightmare.
My parents divorced when I was nine, and all of a sudden there was this blond-haired bimbo hanging around my dad. I mean, seriously, this woman was one of the dumbest people I had ever met; but my dad seemed happy so I went along and accepted her as the new norm in our lives. Though, they never told me they got married nor did they invite me to the wedding. As I came into those oh so joyous teenage years and the angst gripped me, I chose to go live with my dad and stepmother three states away.
Everything was fine at first, but as the days rolled by I began to see her for what she truly was. You see, I had only been to visit for small amounts of time in the past, but now I was permanent. What I came to find out was that my stepmother was a money-grubbing whore, bleeding my dad for all he was worth and playing the dumb, cute, blonde arm candy. I realized that my dad wasn’t happy, and that something else was happening: my dad was very sick.
One night an ambulance came and took my dad to the hospital. I was self-sufficient, taking the public bus to school and doing just fine. I wasn’t allowed to see my dad. Then one morning, my stepmother woke me up by slapping me across the face with a plane ticket. One way. Back to my mom.
This story is much longer than I have room to write, but in the end my stepmother never told me my father died, claimed me as her own daughter and took my inheritance. It was all about the money. She never realized that I would have gladly given her every penny from my inheritance if I could have just seen my dad one last time. I found out he died by looking for obituaries on the internet. This was 14 years ago.
Evil. My Evil Stepmother definitely lived up to the stereotype.
LLTHW Stereotype 2: The Meathead
I have dated three. That’s right, three. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times…. what the fuck is wrong with me?! The last one I and I were engaged. No, I did not marry him. What is weird about this is that I am far from a gym bunny. I like to walk my dog and do the elliptical. That’s about it. I won’t go into detail like I did in my other story, but lets just say with all three, the stereotype was true. I felt like I was dating the guy and the gym; except the gym demanded more time than I did, and definitely saw more action. The running theme between the three of them was not only the obsession with their bodies, but a low I.Q. I hate to say it but it was true. Lesson learned, thrice over.
LLTHW Stereotype 3: The Jewish Princess
Once again, I have to say that I never truly believed in this stereotype until my brother married into a Jewish family. In fact, I have known plenty of Jewish women who don’t fit into the stereotype AT ALL. But I found one. And she is my sister-in-law. Oh joy.
I was really happy for my brother when he found his new wife after going through a messy divorce. And I truly believe that my sister in law loves my brother and their children and has a good heart. She just acts… well… Jewish. She is very spoiled and demands to be that way. She is loud and talks poorly of people. When something doesn’t go her way, watch out. I know, this could be any spoiled, well-to-do person. She is just so… Jewish about things, and uses her religion to get what she wants. When I was planning my wedding two years ago my biggest hurdle was dealing with her and what I wanted my niece to wear in the wedding. The FLOWER GIRL DRESS was an issue. Everything is an issue with her. And no, it doesn’t really have to do with being Jewish, but she will be the first to tell you it does.
So there you have it, my experience with stereotypes. I would like to close in saying that I really don’t buy into them. They are sometimes truthful, most of the time not, yet always hurtful. Just be good to one another whether you are Black, Jewish, White, Mexican, British or really of any background, hair color or religious orientation. Or like to frequent the gym.
What did you think of Robyn’s post? Tune in Friday for some friendly banter from Robyn and Skippy!