Should you try online dating? Sure why not. The stigma is mostly vanished and all the cool kids are doing it. I use an online dating myself on occasion so I can even give you some advice on going about doing this. Here’s my perspective.
Online Dating Advantages
When people write a profile they are putting forward what they consider their best face. This is going to tell you quite a bit about the person writing it. There’s a big difference between the person who opens a profile with “I like 420 and partying every night” (“party” is not a verb – stop it) as opposed to someone who opens with “I like playing chess and hiking in the foothills.” You can quickly get insight into perspective . . . sex partners (let’s be honest here) and eliminate the unworthy and incompatible.
It may now occur to you that writing your own profile will be harder than you anticipate. Guys are going to read what you write and judge you. What are you going to open with? Putting together a profile about yourself is going to force you to do some introspection and that’s never a bad thing. Or you can have a shitty profile that starts with “I like to dress like a skank in zero degree weather and puke on the side walks in Old Town.” There is a target audience for that as well. Know your target before writing your profile.
However if you are physically attractive and your photos prove it the text of your profile becomes irrelevant as no man will read it. Even if he does read it, and even if you admit you kill animals and eat human poop if you are hot enough men will not care.
Another great thing about online dating is it all happens from the comfort of your own home. Can’t beat that. You don’t have to dress up and you don’t have to spend money. It’s not time sensitive either. Four in the morning or four in the afternoon. It’s all the same. Two feet of snow outside? All the people who don’t like snow and skiing will be on the dating site.
Online Dating Disadvantages
Online dating makes it very easy to be critical of other people. It also makes it very easy for other people to be critical of you. When you meet a person in real life you disclose facets of who you are to each other incrementally. With online dating your profile is a giant data dump all at once. Be careful of what you dump. In real life you have the context of an environment and the verbal and non-verbal cues that come with interacting with another person. Online dating lacks all of that. You might be able to deliver a joke in real life. Can you deliver it in writing?
Under those conditions it’s pretty easy to judge people harshly. It’s easy to reject somebody based upon one or two things they presented their profile even though 95% of what they present is desirable to you.
Likewise there is the opposing danger of finding yourself interested in somebody you probably shouldn’t be interested in based on one or two things such as appearance or income. Men of course never message women based only upon their photographs. Never.
Tips For Online Dating
Be open to making friends as well. I’ve used online dating for years. Not many “dates” but I’ve scored a number of friends this way.
Don’t be rude to people. Unless they are rude first. Then you get to make one insulting reply followed by blocking them. Do not get drawn into flame wars. That’s what Facebook is for.
When men contact you either contact them back if interested or don’t contact them at all. Don’t respond to guys you aren’t interested in. You aren’t being polite, what you are doing is giving them false hope.
It’s perfectly okay to engage in some internet dating fun but don’t rely on it exclusively. There’s no substitute for going out and meeting people in real life.
Do not use online dating to create an internet fantasy world. Exchange enough messages to be reasonably sure he’s mostly sane and not a psycho killer. Then fucking get off the computer and meet him in real life. In a public place. A man with his shit together is going to lose interest in you after about 10 to 20 messages.
Do not expect the man to pay for you the first time you meet him. Assuming you have some sense of dignity you will want to avoid being Erin Wotherspoon.
You will be judged by your photos. Make them good. They should appeal to the kind of man you are looking for. Duck lips and beer cans appeal to one kind of man. Prom dresses another. Hiking photos another. Choose your photos wisely. The blown out photos where you skin in over exposed are a dead give away that you have a terrible complexion or some other skin problem. Warning: this next sentence will be offensive. If all your photos are headshots that tells the viewer you are fat and insecure about it. Include a full body photograph where your body is actually visible.