Dear Long Ago and Far Away;
Long-distance relationships only work in a very limited number of circumstances. Here are the requirements you will have to meet in order to make a long-distance relationship work.
- At least one of you has to have large amounts of money to burn.
- At least one of you must have time for travel.
- Both of you must have the ability to go a long time without physical contact with each other.
Burning time & money.
Back in the days when people had to walk uphill 25 miles in the snow in order to do . . . everything . . . having a long-distance relationship with somebody you didn’t have physical contact with was called “penpals”. With the invention of the interwebz having a relationship with somebody you don’t have physical contact with is called “online fantasy”. The one thing that penpals and online fantasies have in common is masturbation.
If the two of you are just going to text each other on a regular basis and masturbate a lot then sure, go for it. But if you want to have something resembling a normal relationship, insomuch as relationships can be normal, at some point you’re going to need to be in the same place at the same time with each other. That means travel.
Travel requires burning time and money. Both literally and figuratively. You convert the money into fuel for an automobile or for an airplane and then you burn it in a combustion engine. Then you tell me how much you care about the environment and how people need to stop burning fossil fuels and global warming and how much you care. Then I make fun of you.
At least one of you will need to be able to afford all this travelling both in the sense of spending the money on fuel and in the sense of being able to either be away from your job or having a job that you can do in flexible locations.
If either of you fits into one of these categories I might again suggest that you go for it. However since you wrote that you do not know when you would actually get to see each other I’m going to conclude that neither of you is rich or has a flexible job.
Of course one of you could also moved where the other one is. And you should highly consider that. Highly consider not doing it. Because that could be a really bad idea. Moving several states away to be with somebody you think you’re in love with and then finding out that person is not in love with you or that you’re not in love with that person or that neither of you is in love with each other is the beginning of many a bad romance novels.
Touch-a touch-a touch me. I want to be dirty.
Most people, certainly not all people but most people need human contact. Physically touching other people keeps us healthy and sane. Humans are social animals. We need physical contact and that’s one of the things being in a relationship should provide.
This does include sex but also includes hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, spanking, sleeping together (I mean sleeping, not fucking) and all the other assorted physical contact that takes place between consenting adults and their sex toys in the dungeon.
If both of you fall into the category of humans who can go extended periods of time without physical contact with your romantic partner then this could work out. I do think that statistically speaking it is unlikely (but of course possible) that both of you do. At some point the text messaging will become unsatisfying and one of you is going to look for physical gratification closer to home.
And by that I mean banging somebody you found in a bar.
I understand that it is both easy and fulfilling to live in a romance novel where love solves all problems. But you have to ask yourself – regardless of how much he wants to get back together and regardless of how much you think you might be in love with him – how practical would this long-distance relationship be. I know it sounds terrible and heartless to suggest that love must have a practical element to it.
But it must and I am both terrible and heartless.
On top of that it’s been five years since you were together. In this five year period have the two of you been dating other people or have you just been sitting around pining for each other? Holding on this tightly to somebody from five years ago who lives multiple states away is yet another excellent beginning for a bad romance novel. Each of you is surrounded by other humans. Date some of them. Contrary to what you have heard in sappy pop songs you can fall in love with more than one person.