I went to Colorado State University. I work in charming Old Town Fort Collins. I have lived here most of my life. I am, through and through, a Fort Collins girl!
I am also a proud Ram fan and I am one who embraces our eternal rivalry with the C.U. Buffs. I have also been to Boulder and have witnessed the truth in all the stories we hear about the strange happenings that occur on Pearl Street. My ex used to call it “The People’s Republic of Boulder.” I have lived here a long time and love our charming little city. Here in Fort Collins we stick our noses in the air and scoff at everything Boulder. But, what goes around comes around I suppose. I am afraid it is true, my dear Fort Collins, we are becoming more and more like Boulder. What happened? Where did we go wrong? When did the madness begin? Did it sneak in under our noses? It certainly sneaked in under mine.
Robyn’s Top 5 Reasons why Fort Collins is Becoming Boulder.
1. Downtown now smells like we have a major skunk problem. I am not talking about the animal either. I have never really done pot, but I dated a major pot head. I remember one night we were driving around and smelled that undeniable scent of a skunk that recently sprayed. I wrinkled my nose in disgust while he rolled down the window, stuck his head out the car and breathed the air so deeply. It was like he was smelling the sweetest thing in the world, as if someone just sprayed an exotic French perfume. He then explained to me that the best weed smelled like skunk. Well, I got that same whiff as I was walking to Equinox downtown last Friday to meet up a friend of mine. Downtown smelled like weed. It. Was. Everywhere. In other words; downtown smelled like Boulder. Come on, Fort Collins, I know pot is legal but we are better than that.
2. There are more hipsters than homeless. Skippy and I have invented a little game that we like to call “hipster or homeless.” As I mentioned earlier, I work in downtown. There are those days where work is dead and I sit and watch Fort Collins walk by the front of the shop. I see a LOT of hipsters. I also see a lot of homeless. Some hipsters have it right on and look nice, but most look like they fit right in with the homeless who congregate in on the corner of Oak and College ave. In fact, we may have more hipsters than they do in Boulder and (dare I say it) hipster is no longer NOT mainstream. I am afraid you all look just like everyone else. Welcome to mainstream, you did it to yourselves. Good work.
3. The people of Fort Collins are going to have to start paying for grocery bags come April. I really really don’t think this is necessary. I always recycle my grocery bags. It is not that difficult. There is a receptacle in the grocery store I shop at that you can put your old bags. I also use them for trash bags or to pick up my dog’s waste. Seriously folks, we don’t need this tax on Fort Collins. Boulder has already been doing this for ages. Careful Fort Collins, this is a big red flag of us becoming Boulder.
4.The MAX transit system. Is it a good idea? I’m still on the fence. But, apparently now that it is not free, no one is using it. Hmmmmm sounds suspiciously like something boulder would do. I hope it works out, I hope the city did not spend tax dollars on something redundant. From how parking was in Downtown last Friday night though… I seriously doubt it.
5. Electric cars are popping up EVERYWHERE. My husband pointed this fact out to me the other day. I am as concerned about the environment as the next person, but we don’t really live in a place that is electric car friendly. I lived in London for a summer, and these cars are everywhere but for good reason. There are charging stations on every corner, they are small and don’t take up much space on the busy streets AND they won’t ever have to worry about three feet of mother- fucking snow. Bad idea for Colorado. Just bad. I am not saying you should go out and buy a hummer, but I don’t think an electric car is the answer. Boulder is on board with the electric car front wholeheartedly and we are on our way to electric-land.
So there you have it, my two cents. We live in such a charming place, lets not make it too much like our quirky neighbor to the South. This town should just stay as it is; a perfect balance of fun, environment, education and art.
What did you think of Robyn’s wisdom? Comment below and tune in Friday for Skippy’s!