By the way, Ask Us Fort Collins is 1 year old this month. Happy birthday to us. We’d go out for a beer to celebrate . . . except . . .
1. Your fridge is full of beer.
Skippy says: When you drink at home the price is right, you don’t have to wait for service and you can sleep where ever you wanna sleep. Pants or no pants.
Robyn says: I’m going to opt for the no pants version and curl up with my favorite beer that I probably have in a growler. The perfect pour and no pants, what could be better?
2. Someone is bringing beer over to your house.
Robyn says: Make sure its a good beer that they are bringing over, and plenty of it. Pants can be optional here too.
Skippy says: If the beer comes to you why go to it? Bonus points if the person bringing the beer is sexy. Unless this person brings Bud or Coors. Fail!
3. You are already in a cider bar.
Skippy says: You do know we have two cider bars right across the street from each other don’t you? Cider is a great alternative to all that beer you’ve been drinking. Delicious and different. Try something new. You’ll be glad you did.
Robyn says: I spent a summer studying in London and came to appreciate all that is cider. Cider is HUGE in the UK and I am glad that Fort Collins is lucky enough to have two cider bars. Try the ‘Angry Balls’ drink at Scrumpy’s. It’s Fireball and Angry Orchard. Most delicious.
4. Your Monday morning hangover is making it impossible to get out of bed. And you don’t know where your pants are.
Robyn says: When we said “pants optional,” we didn’t mean to lose your pants completely. Probably a good thing you can’t find them. Nurse that hangover and start again fresh tomorrow.
Skippy says: I think you’ve had enough “going out for a beer.” It’s time to slow it down a bit. If you are over the age of 24 and still act like this it’s time to seriously consider moving on.
5. The liquor store delivers.
Skippy says: Not as good as having a hottie bring the beer but this one is a good backup plan. Use only as a last resort.
Robyn says: Yes! This exists in Fort Collins! Seven dollar delivery charge, but I guess if you don’t have to put on pants, it is worth it.
6. You home brew.
Robyn says: I hear there is even a brewing class that you can take at CSU for a semester. Though, the internet is free and choc full of home brewing tips. Hell, even New Belgium started in somebody’s basement. You may just be the next craft brewery!
Skippy says: Do it yourself. Exactly. When the apocalypse comes and society collapses the people who can brew beer will be the most powerful people on Earth. And the happiest. Brewing your own beer also means that your favourite brew is always in stock and always in season.
7. You don’t drink beer.
Skippy says: Hard to believe but some people don’t like beer. Crazy right? Don’t player hate on them. Less people drinking beer means more for us.
Robyn says: Exactly! More for us! But hey, there was a time when even I didn’t care for beer (gasp!). Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!
8. You’re too stoned to go out for a beer.
Robyn says: Though, at the rate we are going, there will probably be marijuana beer in no time.
Skippy says: If you’re high enough you don’t need to get higher. Welcome to Colorado. No I don’t have any weed for you.
9. The college kids are back and all the bars have gone to shit again.
Skippy says: It’s that time of year. They are starting to trickle back in. Obnoxious frat boys. Eskahos. Hipsters in training. It’s been a peaceful summer without them. We now go back to loaded bars full of loaded 21 year old kids.
Robyn says: This is a good enough reason for me. I too was once one of these kids, but those days are over and good riddance.
10. You’ve been banned from every bar in town so you have to wait for a new one to open.
Robyn says: You probably won’t have to wait very long, but slow down there tiger. Maybe you should just drink at home.
Skippy says: If your bad behaviour keeps you from being able to go out don’t despair. At the rate businesses go under and open in the Fo of the Co it won’t be long before a new bar appears where the owner, bouncers and staff don’t know you for the hooligan you are.