Social media sucks ass. Ya know why? Because everyone uses it for advertising. Social media has nothing to do with being social, meeting interesting people and then doing things with them away from a computer or cell phone.

For some of you I may need to explain what “away from a cell phone” means. You can leave your cell phone at home and go outside. Believe it or not you can exist without a cell phone in your hand.

Enter YikYak. So far the advertisers don’t seem to have taken control of that platform. They are trying however. At a recent meeting of Social Media Round Table – a forum in which people try to figure out how to use social media for advertising – the topic of using YikYak to promote your business was talked about.

Barf.

Thus YikYak still offers some true entertainment value. I find YikYak to be a nice cross between humour and truth. Though one can argue humour and truth are often the same thing.

Every other monthish or so I’ll be bringing you some YikYak Wisdom.

If you drop out you don’t need to change your major. You won’t have a major. Moving back home with your parents is probably your best option. Especially since your parents helped destroy the economy and reduce your chances of finding a decentish job.

I always knew girls had cooties. Now we know how Ebola is spreading. Get it. Spreading?

You may be looking fine . . . but what about that Ebola?

They probably spend less time playing video games than you do.

He said “hard”.

No shit. Will you fucking pedestrians get the fuck out of the bike lane. It may not have hurt when you fell from heaven but it’s gonna hurt when I slam into you with my bike.

Wait until you get the first bill for your student loans and have to figure out how to budget for that with your pizza delivery job. That’s what disappointment looks like.

Another college student hot date.

You should go to Taco Bell with the person who posted the previous update.

She isn’t homeless, she’s a chyck. Chycks do not take initiative. Giving her your number and expecting her to contact you is futile. You are the boy. You have to do all the work. All of it. Or you’ll die a virgin. And she will hate you.

Right number. Wrong application. Bad times.

High socks are an indicator? Damn. Now I know.

Nothing tells people you are sexy and freaky like wearing a neon orange turtle shell on your head. On the list of things that make women unattractive wearing a bike helmet while riding in town (mountain biking is different) is right up there with bending over to pick up dog shit.

I would say boobs on a man have more value than bike cops. Boobs on a man don’t cost you any money. Boobs on women are different. Those cost me money all the time.

Dr. Dre also dropped out of college. You don’t need that worthless degree to be rich. Don’t take college classes about what you want to do in life. Go out in life and do what you want to do.

His frequent absences from school jeopardized his position as a diver on his school’s swim team. After high school, he attended Chester Adult School in Compton following his mother’s demands for him to get a job or continue his education. After brief attendance at a radio broadcasting school, he relocated to the residence of his father and residence of his grandparents before returning to his mother’s house. He later dropped out of Chester to focus on performing at the Eve’s After Dark nightclub.

Agreed. Wearing a sundress is the polar opposite of picking up dog shit. A girl in a sundress and high socks? Priceless.

Better than Taco Bell?

CSU wifi goes down but will it take you to Taco Bell?

When I was your age class time was nap time.

Yes but you are still paying for it. It not only blows, it also sucks. Sucks the money right out of your wallet.

If you aren’t yaking with the Yak sign up now and use your smart-phone for something other than desperately swiping for hookups on Tinder. And yes I will be dropping some Tinder related screenshots and commentary on you in the future.