Fort Collins is getting too big for it’s britches. In other words, we are bursting at the seams. As in, too many people live here. I love that we make the top cities to live in the US all the time, but fuck, we are growing faster than the weed in the local dispensary.

It is getting so that even our beloved festivals are becoming, well, a shit show.

I always breathe a sigh of relief when the CSU students leave for the summer. I can look forward to less traffic, the bars are less crowded, I am not cleaning up as much vomit from the front stoop of my work (which is in Old Town). This is the first summer that I have noticed it didn’t make any difference. The students left, the construction started and a line of moving vans made it’s way from I-25 down the Harmony corridor. It is a sellers market in the home-buying world and, folks, everyone is moving here. We can’t just blame California any more.

My husband and I had VIP passes for the Taste of Fort Collins on Friday to see Andy Grammer. As I mentioned before, I work in Old Town. I got off at 5 that day and told him I would meet the hubby at the festival. What I did not realize was that the festival is a much smaller event on Friday night, and about 1/3 of the festival space is used. This is where the problems begin.

I want to know who the IDIOT was who decided that 1/3 of festival space was big enough for the eleven BILLION people (approximately) who decided to show up that night!!!!

OK, so, I get to the festival. It’s not too bad. I decide to scope things out. It’s kind of busy. I grab a beer and wait for my husband. I knew exactly what I wanted to eat, so when he arrived, we hit up the Taco Stop food cart and I got my usual, spinach quesadilla. He was not hungry yet so he got a beer and we sit on the lawn to listen to some tunes.

Everything was fine until my husband decided he wanted to get some food. We headed back to the area where the food trucks were and found ourselves looking at a sea of people. A rough and stormy sea full of pushing, shoving, drinking, shouting, and general chaos. I am usually fine in a crowd, so we braced ourselves and charged forward. It was worse than I expected. There was hardly any place to move, a guy spilled my beer all over me, some chick stepped on my foot, I got elbowed in the boob and all I wanted to do was scream. I told my husband that I was done and we walked out of the festival. Here’s the kicker, as we were leaving, hundreds more were streaming in. There was no room for all those people PERIOD. I do not have a picture of the chaos, I was too concerned about getting the hell out of Dodge. Just take my word for it, IT WAS A NIGHTMARE! Oh, and a lot of these people were carrying blankets and chairs for the concert. HA!! Good fucking luck. I doubt they found space.

Fort Collins, I am pissed off at you. If we are going to grow as a city, you need to plan your shit better, get your shit together and anticipate this shit.

I mean SHIT.

I am all for growth, but we are growing way too fast. Our sleepy little town has the pants to fit a size 4, when what we need is a size 16. Our britches are bursting, and pretty soon the seam will break. Along with my sanity.

Did anyone else experience the Friday night Taste of Fort Collins? I know you all are buzzing about the Smash Mouth bread incident (don’t even get me started on that stupidity) that I was fortunate enough to not witness.

If anyone wants to rant about the Taste or the general growth of Fort Collins don’t forget that you can write in to me and/or Skippy. Do it. You know you want to. We are here to help.

Be careful out there Fort Collins, the Beer Fest is this weekend. Make good choices.