All the posts from the days when Robyn and Skippy were writing for Ask Us Fort Collins.

You’re welcome.

He Says: Only You Can Prevent Friend-zoning.

Dear Forever Friend-zoned; What is the secret to getting out of the friend zone? Lots and lots of effort. I mean metric shit-tons of effort. I don’t know exactly how much a metric shit-ton is but that’s how much effort you need to get out of the friend-zone. Here is the real secret to getting out of the friend zone. Don’t bother trying. It’s not worth it. I know. You think these chycks who are friends of yours are so … Continue reading →

Unsolicited Advice She Says: It’s Grey, Not Black and White

Let it be known: As I write this post I have not seen the movie, nor did I read the book. Well, that is not entirely true. I tried to read the book. A quick story: I had never heard of Fifty Shades of Grey until my hairdresser, and friend, told me about it. I used to work at the salon, I was getting my hair done at one day, and all the girls were buzzing about this book. “What … Continue reading →

He Says: Rising Water Cuts New Paths

Dear Up a Creek Without a Booth; Your frustration is understandable. Putting all that time, money and planning into an event and then having the whole thing fall out from under you is a terrible experience emotionally and financially. You geared up, set your expectations and then had it snatched away from you by the weather. Floods in Fort Collins. Who knew? Bad Earth! Bad planet! Stop that! Let’s start with the legal stuff. As you let us know after … Continue reading →

Wisdom: 13 Birth Control Methods That Really Do Work

Good job. You took Robyn and Skippy’s advice when we wrote Dating To Impress: Destinations in Fort Collins. You took some hottie out on the town and now y’all are hot-n-heavy. Good job. Your next challenge is to avoid making a baby before you’re ready. 1. Spending time at Chuck E. Cheese. Robyn says: Arguing, shouting, crying. And that’s just the parents. Nothing makes my legs lock faster than any time spent here watching other people’s kids misbehave. Skippy says: … Continue reading →

He Says: Online Dating Is What You Make Of It

Dear Single Girl Seeking Stellar Guy; Should you try online dating? Sure why not. The stigma is mostly vanished and all the cool kids are doing it. I use an online dating myself on occasion so I can even give you some advice on going about doing this. Here’s my perspective. Online Dating Advantages When people write a profile they are putting forward what they consider their best face. This is going to tell you quite a bit about the … Continue reading →

Question of the Week: My Roommate’s Boyfriend is Abusive


Dear Robyn and Skippy, My roommate is dating an asshole. He is inconsiderate, obnoxious, and abusive. He comes over when she is not home, makes messes in our kitchen and refuses to clean up after himself. They argue constantly and one night after a particularly bad fight, he hit her. They broke up for a while and now they are back together. I don’t feel safe with this guy in our house and I know that he will hit her … Continue reading →

She Says: Sex Now, Love Later


Dear Baffled by Boyfriend, Eight years is a long time to be with someone who is reluctant to tell you he loves you. This kind of question makes me thankful that you will also get a perspective from the male point of view on Friday when Skippy writes his post. I haven’t quite figured out how the male mind works, if I had then I would probably write a book and make a lot of money. All I can do … Continue reading →

He Says: Confessions of A Former Beta Male

Yes it’s true.  I use to be a beta male. I’m on the road to recovery and everything is getting better.  This is good news for me and the female population. Back in the day when I was “dating” two girls at the same time I actually lied to them.  Or at least failed to inform them of each others existence.  This caused some problems when it came to having one out of the house before the other showed up. … Continue reading →

She Says: The Best LAID Plans Are Not Planned

Dear Married with Misgivings, You’ve got a golden ticket, a rare opportunity, a hall pass. A round trip ticket to Singles Land and back again. Your wildly generous and understanding husband is giving you a window of opportunity to relive the single life for three months time. You want to know how to mentally prepare yourself to go out and have sex with strangers? The answer is, you don’t. This is something that you are going to do and have … Continue reading →

Question Of The Week: Why Am I Not That Into Her?

Dear Robyn and Skippy, I went on a date the other night with a girl I met on a dating site.   It was an experience that made me reflect on what I want.  I showed up early, found a good table and waited for her to come.  When she got there she was as pretty as her pictures and a bit nervous, I was too.  We talked for a long time, had an awesome time and 6 hours later I … Continue reading →

Unsolicited Advice: Parenting. You’re Doing It Wrong.

A true story; as retold by Robyn and Skippy. One fine Sunday morning at a local restaurant and bar, Robyn and Skippy sat enjoying the brunch buffet and dollar mimosas when suddenly….. DUH DUH DUHHHH BAD PARENTING ALERT!!!! Two young girls, under the age of 5, clearly related had just entered the bar in their Sunday best.  Their mother showed them to the section that held adult bar games such as: giant Jenga, giant Ker-plunk (where you take the sticks … Continue reading →

He Says: It’s That Very Special Time Of The Year. That Sucks.

There are many reasons to hate the holidays. Let me count them. 1. Atheists Who Want Presents. This is going to hurt your feelings. And you know how much I care about your feelings. I case “this much” about your feelings. Ready? Good. Every time Christmas comes around I have to listen to atheists whining about religions people trying to “put the Christ in Christmas” and how terrible this is. News flash. Christmas is a holiday celebrating the birth of … Continue reading →

Robyn Rants: Men


Men. Can’t live with em… Can’t kill ’em… I mean… live without ’em. I think that one of natures cruelest jokes is that we are put on this Earth to not only procreate with the opposite sex, but co-habitate with them as well. I mean, how can one species be so different from one another? OK so we don’t have to co-habitate with one another. I used to think that my life would be a lot easier if I were … Continue reading →

He Says: To Hit or Not To Hit?

Dear Chris Cross; Actually you don’t have to ask a question. I can just riff off anything you give me. But I suppose a question does help and it fits the format of the blog. The answers are “no” and “yes” and “make that jello-shot a double”. I’m in the camp that says an ex (or an X as I like to think of them) is an ex for a reason. Such as being possessed by Satan. Oh sure some … Continue reading →

Question of the Week: I’m Over Christmas

Dear Robyn and Skippy, I am one of those people who really dislikes the holiday season. I mean, I HATE IT. I don’t want to celebrate this year and my family is acting all butt-hurt because I have decided to not participate. They are making my life a living hell with guilt. I feel like it is almost worth participating this year to get them off my back, but what happens next year when I decide not to celebrate Christmas? … Continue reading →