Worthless Degree Awareness Month is almost over. How’s the job hunt going for you fresh college graduates? Pulling in that six figure income yet?

I’ll get an update from you next time you ask me if I’d like desert or if I’m ready for the check.

I know some people who have college degrees have great jobs. Yes they do. What you may not know is that some people without college degrees also have great jobs. Some people without college degrees own their own businesses.

You many also not know that some people with college degrees work at Starbucks.

You did know that? Then take this as a warning to carefully consider what you will major in when you go to college.

• I’ve offered you a slew of useful information to help you choose a major that will reduce your chances of living in poverty over at Twitter Roach.
• I explained why your degree has no value and where value comes from in The Twitter Roach Podcast 0004.
• I explained one test you can apply to determine if your degree will have value in The Truth Hurts 0010.

Today I want to explain some of the reasons old people want you to go to college regardless of any benefit to you.

Who Are Old People?

First let me define what I mean by “old people”. I don’t mean everyone who has lived more than X number of years. I mean people with an old outlook on life, the universe and everything. I mean the sort of people you have worked with or will work with who say things like

“We tried that 40 years ago and it didn’t work.”

or

“That’s the way we have always done it.”

or

“When I was your age we had to walk up hill.”

I’m not saying we throw out all knowledge from the past. Fourty years ago it was a bad idea to stand in front of a moving locomotive. Today it’s still a bad idea to stand in front of a moving locomotive. Yet there are ideas which may not have been practical 40 years ago that are practical today because things change.

Remember change? You voted for change. How’s that working for you?

Why Do The Old People Want You To Get A College Degree?

Not because it benefits you. Because it benefits them.

1. Your debt is their profit.

No. It really is. You pay interest on that debt. And who gets the interest? The banking corporations. Remember those corporations you hate so much? The ones Bush/Obama bailed out with your tax money? They get the interest you pay on your student loan.

Who runs banking corporations? Who sits on the boards of banking corporations? Who are the share holders in banking corporations?

Old people.

2. Money is time is freedom. Old people fear your freedom.

In order to get money you must trade a portion of your time for money. Even if you’re engaging in theft you still have to trade a portion of your time for money. It takes time to pick a pocket, break into a house, jack a car or hack a bank account.

The more of your time you are trading for money the less of your time will be available for doing things you want to do. You want to start your own business. Play computer games. Write a book. Shop for shoes. It doesn’t matter. You have to do less of that in order to make money.

More debt means less freedom. Let’s do math.

Say you make $10 an hour.

Now let’s say your cost of living which includes food, rent, utilities, entertainment and all the necessities of life cost you $800 a month. That means you have to work 80 hours a month in order to pay for all that.

After 80 hours of work each month you can either stop working and do things you want to do or you can work more in order to make more money to purchase or do more things you want to do.

Now let’s add in a $35,000 student loan debt (an estimated average for the graduating class of 2015) for your philosophy degree with a minor in marketing.

If you are paying $300 a month on your student loans and that’s an additional 30 hours a month you have to work instead of being free to do things you want to do. That’s an additional 30 hours a month of money you are making which you are not free to spend on things you want to spend it on.

At $300 a month it will also take you 13 years and $13,000 in interest to become clear and free. That’s 13 years of losing your freedom to this debt.

This is without mentioning the credit card debt your racked up because the old people and banks told you that getting a credit card was a good idea. And because no one taught you anything about budgeting your money. Because all those teachers you had in public school cared about you so much they never thought to mention you should spend less money than you make.

How do old people benefit from you having less freedom?

3. Less freedom for you means less competition for them.

People who are set in their ways do not want anything to come in and shake up “the way its always been”. I’ve seen the fear of not doing things the way they’ve always been done up close and personal. I’ve had jobs, including eight years of working at Colorado State University. The slightest suggestion that policies created in 1932 might be outdated would send old people into spasms.

I’m not saying all the newfangled ideas you kids have are good ideas. You kids can be stupid without even trying. Not all your ideas are bad ideas either. Some of you young people might look at the way old people are doing things and figure out a better way to do it.

No one who is financially invested in the old way of doing something is going to be overly receptive to the new way of doing something. Especially if they can’t control this new way. A lack of control is interpreted by our brains as danger.

When you show up young, full of energy, all sorts of bright new ideas which may or may not work and a willingness to try things you haven’t tried before this scares the shit out of old people. Because this reminds old people they are old and they can be replaced.

The same way they will replace you when it will save money.

A very important thing for you to understand is that most of the old people around you today have not saved money for their retirement. They have almost nothing and they know that Social Security is not going to keep them in the style of living they are accustomed to. They have to cling to their jobs as long as possible. They cannot cling to their jobs as long as possible if there is a threat you’re going to take jobs away from them by being more competent.

The more time you spend working to pay off debt is less time you have to be learning skills or gaining practical experience. It’s also less time you have to be starting your own business.

The business that might put their business out of business.

4. The destruction of your ego makes you more obedient.

For many people there is a psychological effect to debt, under-employment and working menial entry level jobs which are below your intelligence and skill set. People may become depressed because of the amount of debt they have accumulated. This is perfectly understandable. If you perceive your situation as a deep dark hole you can’t escape from that’s going to affect your emotions and behaviour.

And if you are depressed over the amount of debt you have then you’re much less likely to be a threat to an old person’s job.

5. Spending four years or more in college keeps you out of the workplace that much longer.

Yes you may have a part-time job or even a full-time job while you’re in college but for most people the years they are going to college are years they are not working as either an employee or a business owner creating value for other people, making money and learning practical business skills.

The longer you avoid getting in the water the longer it’s going to take you to learn how to swim. Old people recognize the longer they can keep you from actively creating value in the economy that’s the longer they can go without being threatened by your ability to create value in the economy.

6. Forcing you to get a college degree for an entry-level job affirms the value of the college educations held by the old people.

Once upon a time not everybody had a college diploma. Graduating from college was rare and therefore more valuable. Thus the old people with college diplomas think that they are special.

Imagine you’re an old person. I’ll wait while you bend over and try to shove your head that far up your ass.

Got it up there? Good.

You’re an old person. You went to an Ivy League college. You got an entry-level job at some corporation and worked your way up. Now you’re in charge of an entire division and you get to set the criteria for hiring new employees. Employees who are going to do jobs such as the entry-level job you started in.

How would you feel if a bunch of 18-year-old kids with high school educations came into the company, took these entry-level jobs, and performed to them not just to the required standards but above required standards?

You would shit yourself.

Those of you who have landed entry-level jobs know most entry-level jobs can be performed by a trained monkey. Some by an untrained monkey. No, not all of them. But most of them. You know this is true if you have an entry-level job because you are doing it.

What do you do on a daily basis that is taxing your education and skills to the point that if you had not had four years of college you would not have been capable of performing those duties? Does it really take you 40 hours a week to do this job? I bet you could perform all your job functions in 20 hours a week. Thirty at the most. Especially if you were allowed to toss out all the rules from 1932 and do things your way.

I submit that for most of you there is nothing you do at your entry-level job that you could not have learned either on the job by doing it or by watching some videos on YouTube. There’s also the possibility the people you work for could teach you skills you need to do the job but those days are long gone.

Your employers don’t see you as a long term investment to be developed so you can bring more and more value to the company. They see you as toilet paper.

What if you got an entry level job and spent two years there learning and making money then decided either:

A. I love this stuff.  I’m going to college to learn more so I can advance in the field.

or

B.  This is pure crap.  I’m outta here.

The Endgame.

Let me also caution you on this. You may be reading this and thinking to yourself “Yea! Fuck those old people. They are assholes.”

They are. But one day – if you are not paying attention – you may become one of them yourself. All those old people use to be 18 years old just like you are.

I’m not saying no one should go to college. I am saying no one should go to college simply because old people expect them to go to college. You have to take some time to evaluate your life and what you want to do with it.

Going to college for no reason other than old people are scared of you isn’t a good reason to go to college. You have many options. Take your time and think about them. You only get one life despite what your goofy religion may tell you. Don’t fuck it up with worthless degree and perpetual debt.