We begin with these words from the founder of National Worthless Degree Awareness Month, Mr. Aaron Clarey.

Just last month all over the nation and right here in Fort Collins children graduated high school and are about to embark upon the path to fucking up their futures. If you really care about the children it’s not too late to help them. Order a copy of Worthless by Aaron Clarey for every high school student and fresh graduate you know right now. Get this book in their hands before they start taking out student loans.

Just last month all over the nation children graduated from college with worthless degrees and no chance of employment which will allow them to pay back their loans much less live a life of comfort.

Many of them majored in education. The easiest diploma a human, or even a monkey, can earn. They will now shamble forth towards the public school system where they get three month summer vacations and unionised protection from having to teach critical thinking skills to students.

Here is an example of the lack of thinking.

Sometime ago I was at one of these events where a bunch of rich people ask other rich people to donate money to some non-profit. Cause that’s how they lower their taxes. An individual gave a speech in which he cited a statistic the claim of which was this.

As an average, citizens of Fort Collins have more formal education than citizens in other cities in the U.S. As an average, citizens of Fort Collins make less money than citizens in other cities in the U.S.

He indicated that he didn’t understand how this could be.

I can explain this. I have critical thinking skills. I also don’t care about your feelings.

It’s all because of worthless degrees.

Yes there are many people in Fort Collins who have Masters degrees. Or Doctorates. Or double Doctorates and triple Masters. And many of these people have chosen to spend money educating themselves in fields for which they cannot get paid.

In Fort Collins we have more restaurants than you can shake a stick at. Next time you go to a restaurant talk to the people who work there. Ask them if they’ve graduated from college. Ask them what they majored in. Ask them why are they working at a restaurant if their college education is so valuable. Ask this as you leaving so they don’t spit in your food. I worked in a restaurant. Yes it happens.

I know people who have worthless college degrees and they are waitresses and bartenders and baristas. This is not a theory. It’s a fact.

You and I both know you don’t care about the children.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you do care about the children. Let’s pretend that you want the children to be able to get a job in the future where they can afford to buy nice things, live the good life, and most importantly pay the tax rates that are going to be necessary in order for you to collect Social Security payments.

You would need to warn them about the dangers of attending college and paying for a worthless degree.

Why do people go to college and spend thousands of dollars to get degrees in things such as English, international relations, communications, social sciences, hyphenated studies, art, philosophy, women’s studies, business, and the always laughable political science?

Old People have lied to them.

1. Old people are terrified of young people because young people, if left to their own devices and curiosities, would be able to outwork and out-think the old people.

To prevent that from happening young people need to go to college where any brain cells which survived the 12 years of public education can finally be killed off. Wasting four to twelve years in college also keeps the young people out of the work force (no competition for the old folks) and distracts them from learning useful skills or starting their own business.

2. Old people have often accumulated debt which limits their financial possibilities and thus their freedom and future. Young people don’t have debt and thus have more freedom.

The easiest and quickest way to get young people into debt for large amounts of money is to have them take out college loans. Once the loans have to be paid that translates into taking the first job a graduate can get. Often it will involve carrying food to tables or asking people if they would care for desert today.

3. Old people have told young people that college is not about the money it’s about the experience.

The truth is that college is entirely about the money. College is an investment not an experience. You invest four or six or eight years of your life and a large amount of money to learn skills which will allow you to make money in the future. Not just make money but make enough money to pay for the education and still have a profit to live on.

4. Old people have told young people “you can be anything you want”.

While you can be anything you want to be that does not mean other people are going to pay you for it. You certainly can choose to get a college degree in avant-garde poetry. But that does not mean anyone is going to pay you money for that skill set. You can however end up with a part-time adjunct teaching job, a handicapped child and food stamps.

5. Colleges are staffed almost entirely by old people. Old people who need money because they are in debt. Old people who can’t get real jobs. Because they have worthless degrees themselves.

Those old people want to make money and the only way those old people make money is if you young people go to college. A 60-year-old professor who teaches avant-garde poetry cannot get a job anywhere in the public sector nor does he have the skills or knowledge to start his own business. Therefore he has to lie to young people and tell them that studying avant-garde poetry is a valid career option for them. What he fails to mention is that the only job you can get with a degree in avant-garde poetry is a job teaching avant-garde poetry to young people who don’t know any better. And thus the cycle of worthless degrees repeats itself.

Old people should be held accountable for the ways they have failed their children. At this point we toss out the obligatory “thank you” to the Baby Boomers for totally fucking destroying the economy.

Yet you young kids aren’t off the hook here either. Especially you Millennials. For a group of people who claim to be the “smartest generation ever” you kids are dumber than fuck. You believe all the bullshit feed to you by the old people. Amongst your contributions to the problem are:

1. Never researching how many jobs are actually being created in the field you want to go into.

2. Never finding out how many degrees in that field are being handed out each year.

3. Never looking at what the turn over rate in those field are. The longer old people stay in the workforce the less job openings are created.

4. Voting for socialism and higher taxes and more wars.

5. Not understanding math.

6. Choosing parasitism as a way to live instead of creating value for other people in return for money.

7. Failing to take any responsibility for your life.

If you have a worthless degree most likely you will end up being a parasite on me and other people who actually work for a living. When you tell me you are getting a degree in international relations with a minor in political science don’t be surprised when I laugh in your face.

$163,000 In Student Loans.