Dear Friend Seeking in Fort Collins,

Your acquaintances are not fulfilling your friendship needs? This is one time where I wish I had more details on why you may not feel like you can’t confide in or reach “bestie” status with the pretend friends you already have in your life. Friendship needs to have a solid foundation in trust if you are going to have someone you can confide in and let into your life. In other words, friendship is not going to happen overnight nor will it click instantly with the new potential friends you may meet. Have you thought about exploring a deeper relationship with an acquaintance? Are any of them interesting enough to pursue and build a true friendship? Think about it for a while. New friends will take some time.

It sounds like you have a wonderful family and a loving husband, and I bet cash money that he is your best friend. I understand the need for female companionship. It is difficult to replace the bond that the ladies share with someone who doesn’t have a vagina. It also sounds like your family consumes a big chunk of your life, so you may not have the time to go out and try some things for yourself to make new friends. Its time to make the time for yourself.

Scenarios For Making New Friends:

Take A Class

Fort Collins offers a TON of classes through the City. What are your interests? My best friend took a pottery class and made me a make-up brush holder that I still use and love. She had a great time and made a new friend. There are also hiking clubs, yoga classes, water aerobics, ice skating, etc. The list goes on and on. There are even classes you can take with your children and meet other families. Here is the link to the Fort Collins recreation guide:  http://www.fcgov.com/recreation

Volunteer for a Non-Profit or Charity 

There are an abundance of non-profit organizations that are constantly looking for volunteers. Again, find your interests. Are you an animal lover? Volunteer at the Larimer County Humane Society or Animal House (where we adopted our perfect puppy). Love the arts? The theatres in town are always looking for docents or help with taking down and putting up sets. Love working with children? Respite care is a place where children with disabilities go to learn and play. All these organizations would appreciate your help AND you get to meet new people while making a difference in the community.

Link to Fort Collins non-profits: http://greatnonprofits.org/organizations/city/Fort%20Collins/CO/page:1/sort:review_count/direction:desc

Link to Fort Collins Respite Care: http://www.respitecareinc.org/about

Join Toastmasters

Do you like to speak in public? I have been to a Toastmasters meeting and it was a really great experience. I could tell that they were having fun and making friends along the way. Skippy was actually in Toastmasters for a time and made a couple of really close friends as a result. What is Toastmasters you ask?

From their website: A Toastmasters meeting is a learn-by-doing workshop in which participants hone their speaking and leadership skills in a no-pressure atmosphere.

Toastmaster is not free but the monthly club fees are minimal

Link to local Toastmasters meetings: http://www.fortnet.org/Toastmasters/

Get Involved with a Church

My boss has recently been going to Bible study and has met a friend that she lunches with. I don’t know how religeous you are, but there are many programs at your local church you can get involved with. My mom did the Christmas Bazaar at her church for years and made a “bestie” in doing so. The ladies in that group spent weeks making crafts to sell at their yearly event.

Make Friends Through the Friends You Already Have

I met my best friend through a good friend of mine. The acquaintances you have, I would venture to guess, have good friends of their own. Make time to meet their friends. Invite your friends out for a ladies night and tell them to “bring a friend”. Another good idea is to have a Pampered Chef, Pure Romance (if you are feeling naughty) or a CAbi party. Pampered Chef is for cooking ware, Pure Romance is for, well, “intimates” and CAbi is a clothing trunk show you do in your home. Once again, ask your acquaintances to bring a friend. You can find local representatives for these home parties on their websites.

Pampered Chef: http://www.pamperedchef.com/host-a-cooking-party.jsp

Pure Romance: http://pureromance.com/host-a-party/

CAbi: http://www.cabionline.com/

Making new friends will take some time and effort. Making best friends takes even more time, but in the end, you will be glad you tried some new things and found some ladies who share your same interests. The most important thing is to have fun during this process and don’t expect to meet someone tomorrow. You may have to do more than one of my suggestions before you find a true kindred spirit. You will and when you do, let me know what worked for you!

Check back on Friday for Skippy’s response. Meanwhile, what did you think about Robyn’s advice? Comment below!