She Says: Find your Kink

Dear Not Krazy About Kinky, Woman to woman I need to level with you. You. Have. To. Tell. Him. You are still a virgin and you expect to go in without mentioning this to someone who practically has a doctorate in sex? You are out of your mind if you think that it will be a good experience for you if you just go along “ho hum-ing” thing whole thing. I made that same mistake. Not that the guy I … Continue reading →

Skippy Responds: What Is Less Important Than Dogs? You.

Read the full story from Neil here: Looks like Neil got himself a big does of that Fort Collins community. I can feel Neil’s pain but what needs to be addressed here is all of Neil’s mistakes and his denial of reality. I’m not doing this to insult or make fun of Neil. I’m doing it so that others may learn from his mistakes. It also would have been helpful if Neil had consulted an asshole early in the … Continue reading →

Robyn Responds to Skippy: No Smoking? No Joking!

Skippy had a lot of shit to say this week! Which is good, because I don’t have much shit to say in response. I agree and disagree with my counterpart. In case you didn’t click on the link he posted as to what is going in here in our lovely city: there is a debate on furthering the smoking ban here in Fort Collins. The Gist: Smoking will be banned in in the expanded downtown area including Old Town Square … Continue reading →

Shit Skippy Says: Booze Good. Reefer Good. Fat Good. Tobacco Bad.

Here in the Choice City I must often make a choice between stepping over or stepping around the splatters of alcohol inspired vomit and piles of dog shit on the sidewalks. Or maybe those are actually modern art purchased by the city. Have you seen that giant pile of Stalinist poop at the corner of Mason and Maple? These days one can never tell. In other news (that is to say shit I saw in my Twitter stream) there is … Continue reading →

He Says: Other People’s Butt-hurt Ain’t Your Problem

Dear Bah Humbug; I feel your pain my friend. And some extra pain as well ’cause I’m sick for the first time in four years because someone decided that coming to work sick and spreading their germs was a good idea. Thus i find myself in misery as I write this. Physical misery from a stuffed up nose and mental misery from hearing Christmas music. Here’s the key to understanding why your family is butt-hurt. People don’t like it when … Continue reading →

She Says: It’s a Holiday Hassle

Dear Torn Between Two Families, First of all, you wont ruin the feelings you have for Christmas just by spending the holiday apart. This one thing is not going to “ruin” Christmas. Do you know what ruins Christmas? Having high expectations for a jolly holiday, and when something bad happens, not being able to handle it. You know what else ruins Christmas? People. People ruin Christmas with their bad attitudes and alcoholism and dying and re-gifting. When will people learn … Continue reading →

Question of The Week: Pulled In Two Directions

Dear Robyn and Skippy; My girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for almost 2 years now and we’ve hit that wall that everyone runs into and no one can solve to the satisfaction of everyone.  Which family do you spend Christmas with?  She would like to be with her family.  I’d like to be with mine.  Both our families expect us to be there. Whatever happens we know that we want to be together for Christmas.  Both … Continue reading →

Robyn’s Rant: Basic Bitches

Welcome back to my bi-monthly installment of Robyn’s Rant! Basic Bitches. They’re everywhere: In line at Starbucks ordering the most complicated drink on the menu (double venti two pump skinny pumpkin spice latte with no foam and extra whip), talking loudly on their cell phones in the supermarket, taking selfies of themselves for no reason in particular, wearing Ugg boots every day of the year no matter what the weather is like outside, talking shit behind their friends’ backs and … Continue reading →

She Says: The Holidays Are All Relative

It’s that time of year again. The time of year that everyone is supposed to be holly-jolly. The time of year where you prepare to spend more money than you have on loved ones. The time where you slap a fake smile on your face, take a deep breath, and brace yourself to deal with obnoxious relatives (we all have at least one). If you ask me, I think it is more trouble than it is worth. There are a … Continue reading →

He Says: Dropping The Nuclear No

Dear Not Buying What She’s Selling; When you wrote that she was selling a well-known product out of her home the first product that came to my mind was sex. The second product that came to my mind was sex toys. I think we know where my mind is. And of course the more times I can get the word sex in this blog post that’s the better for SEO purposes. This person is your friend but sometimes in life … Continue reading →