She Says: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage…

Dear Troubled with Trying. You shouldn’t have gotten married… let me rephrase that… you shouldn’t have gotten married to the man that you married. I mean, how stupid can you be? I’m sorry to sound harsh but you husband totally tricked you into marrying him. You have been Fifty Shades of manipulated. He got you right where he wanted you and now it is too late to go back. You can’t undo a marriage. I mean, come on, marriage is … Continue reading →

He Says: Lessons In Parasite Removal

Dear She’s My Mom Not Yours; Let me guess. This person living off (not with, off) your mother has . . . wait for it . . . a liberal arts degree. Am I right? If there were ever a case of bad parenting this would be it. Your cousin (whom I shall refer to as Sleazy from here on out) was not raised right. Sleazy’s parents totally failed to teach him any sorts of standards about being a man. … Continue reading →

She Says: Your Mom Moocher Must Go

Dear She’s My Mom Not Yours, I am afraid to say it, but we are living in an age where moving in with relatives is the new norm.  Moving back home is the fall back plan. Life in these United States is not what it once was and the almighty dollar doesn’t go very far. Have you been abroad lately? I was in England, and the dollar bill might as well have been a piece of notebook paper with a … Continue reading →

He Says: Other People’s Butt-hurt Ain’t Your Problem

christmas in november in fort collins

Dear Bah Humbug; I feel your pain my friend. And some extra pain as well ’cause I’m sick for the first time in four years because someone decided that coming to work sick and spreading their germs was a good idea. Thus i find myself in misery as I write this. Physical misery from a stuffed up nose and mental misery from hearing Christmas music. Here’s the key to understanding why your family is butt-hurt. People don’t like it when … Continue reading →

She Says: It’s a Family Christmas Crisis

Dear Bah Humbug, Oh man, I hear ya! I don’t want to stop celebrating Christmas all together, but I am over all the holiday drama that inevitably creeps up on me every year. I’ve said this before and I will say it again: It is the people in you life that can make or break Christmas, and honey, you’ve got a bunch of ball busters. Christmas ball busters. Shiny-red-ornament-on-the-tree-ball busters. Crunch. So, what did you think was going to happen … Continue reading →

Question of the Week: I’m Over Christmas

Dear Robyn and Skippy, I am one of those people who really dislikes the holiday season. I mean, I HATE IT. I don’t want to celebrate this year and my family is acting all butt-hurt because I have decided to not participate. They are making my life a living hell with guilt. I feel like it is almost worth participating this year to get them off my back, but what happens next year when I decide not to celebrate Christmas? … Continue reading →

He Says: Flip A Coin – Then Stay At Home

Dear Torn Between Two Families; Like I wrote in my post about why the Holly-Daze suck – other people’s families are a pain in the ass at Christmas time. All the more so when that other person is someone you’re exchanging body fluids with. Everyone wants to be happy at Christmas. Problem is you can’t make everyone happy. Sometimes you can’t make anyone happy. That’s known as “compromise”. We’ll take a look at compromise in a moment. First let’s have … Continue reading →

He Says: Mommy Has Daddy Issues

Dear Fatherless in Fort Collins; You should not give up on finding out who your father is. This knowledge is very important. Firstly for medical reasons. I’m sure I’m not the first person to point out you need to know who your biological father is because of the possibility of genetic and inherited diseases. Secondly for mental health reasons. Not mental health as in “you’re crazy” but mental health as in “not knowing is gnawing at your mind like a … Continue reading →

She Says: Discussing Dad is Not a Dead End

Dear Fatherless in Fort Collins, You are not being unreasonable in your desire to find your real father. You shouldn’t just “get over it.” You will never get over it, this is one thing that you can’t just get over. The question of who your father is and your feelings of abandonment will never just go away. I have to warn you though, finding out who your real father is wont make your feelings about him any better either. Someone … Continue reading →

Question of The Week: Who’s Your Daddy?

Y U No Tell Me Who My Father Is in Fort Collins

Dear Robyn and Skippy; My mother and I have reached an impasse and I don’t know what to do about it. I found out when I was 15 that the man I thought is my father isn’t my biological father. I’m 24 now and she still will not tell me who my biological father is. I think it’s important to know but for reasons she will not tell me she thinks I don’t need to know. She refuses to even … Continue reading →