Happy Monday.  Robyn blew herself up in a 4th of July accident and can’t post today.  Just kidding.  About the blowing up part that is.  She really can’t post today.  And since I don’t have any thing fresh ready to go you are going to get a post from one of my other sites.

Here is some wisdom for the boys from my site on parenting, You Are Definitely Doing It Wrong.  Enjoy.

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So boys. You wanna be a daddy. Good luck with that. I’m here to tell you it’s not as easy as you think. However I’m also here to provide you with a quick-start guide that will get you going in the right direction.

1. Find a good woman.

Pause for laughter.

It’s harder than you think but it is possible. For an elite few. Fact is there aren’t enough women capable of being good mothers to go around. Not that there are a whole slew of men capable of being good fathers either.

You have to sort the totally psychotic women from the moderately psychotic women from the slightly psychotic women.

In case you’re wondering it’s the slightly psychotic group of women you want to target.

Here are some quick and easy ways to distinguish.

Totally Psychotic Women

Does she call herself a feminist? Does she vote Democrat? Does she espouse a new age religion and worship the Earth Goddess? Is she a vegan? Does she have a college degree in something like international relations, English, or hyphenated studies? Does she have horses or rescue dogs?

She is totally psychotic. Do not go anywhere near these women. Do not even have sex with them. Not even a one night stand regardless of how attractive they are. They will boil your bunny rabbit and accuse you of rape.

Important note about college education. If a woman has a college education in anything related to children such as child psychology or K-12 education you should run (do not walk) to the nearest exit. Any woman who has to go to college in order to learn how to relate to children does not have any potential to be a mother.

Moderately Psychotic Women

Does she believe there is an invisible man who lives in the sky? Does she vote Republican? Does she still believe that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Does she declare any Muslims who will not convert to Christianity should be killed? Because Islam is stupid but “her religion” makes total sense.

We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren’t punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That’s war. And this is war. — Ann Coulter

Congratulations the woman you’re hitting on is Ann Coulter. She’s moderately psychotic and while she’s good for short-term dating or a one night stand this is not somebody you want to trust your child with.

Slightly Psychotic Women

Does she have a college degree in one of the STEM fields such as chemical engineering or physics? Does she appreciate some of the Buddhist beliefs but laugh at the idea of reincarnation? Does she adhere to the Non-aggression Principle? Does she regard voting as violence?

If so you have found one of the 1% of women in the United States who is capable of being a good mother. Tie her up and spank her. Not as punishment. Because she will enjoy it.

Non-Psychotic Women

Don’t exist.

2. Increase your income and save money.

Children cost money. Being a good father means you provide for your child instead of expecting the tax payers to provide for your child. While 99% of women will have no problem accepting welfare, Social Security, food stamps, and WIC in order to support their children you need to man the fuck up and not be a parasite. If your standards aren’t higher than all the shitty mothers out there you are definitely doing it wrong.

Begin saving money before the child is born, before the child is conceived, before you get married, before you find a woman. Start saving money. You do not want to be in a situation like this bimbo who wrote into Ask Fort Collins lamenting that getting her child circumcised was going to cost $500 and by golly since the government wasn’t going to pay for the circumcision she didn’t know how she was going to afford it.

Work on increasing your income. Most likely you are working a day job if you are young. Work on making more money and advancing at your day job but also work on starting your own business.

The best case scenario is to do something that does not involve selling your time. For example write a book. Once the book is written it can be sold over and over and over without you having to put large amounts of your time into it.

Even if your business does involve selling your time it’s still better to sell your time directly to your clients than it is to sell your time to some corporation who then resells it to clients.

3. Paternity testing.

You found a good woman. You’re making some bank. You got her pregnant.

Or did you?

Maxim #666: When a woman has incentive to lie, she will choose lying over honesty EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Corollary to Maxim #666: Treat woman like Soviet Russia — Trust but verify.

Paternity. Testing. For. Every. Child.

I know. Your woman would never fuck another man and trap you into paying for his child. News flash. There is good cause to suspect that somewhere upwards of 10% of fathers are raising a child not biologically related to them. I’ve fucked enough married women, known enough men who have fucked married women, and know enough married women who fuck other men to tell you the odds are not in your favour. Especially you younger men.

Private DNA testing service BioClinics, which runs a clinic in Cardiff, found that a staggering 57% of hundreds of analysed paternity tests conducted in Wales were negative.

Don’t be angry at women for behaving this way. That’s like being angry with fire for being hot. In fact this is one of the few times in a woman’s life when she will actually making logical and intelligent decision.

Let’s take the average 25-year-old woman who is a high school teacher. She’s having sex with seven different guys this month.

• Three of them are unemployed alcoholics.
• Two of them are baristas.
• One of them is a student from her class who is 16.
• And one of them owns a house, a car, and has a job making 300,000 a year.

When she gets pregnant which of those men is she going to claim is the father? She would have to be stupid to make any choice other than the guy making 300,000 a year.

Not yet convinced?

Before paternity testing, women and male white knights would claim that “women would never lie about paternity.” Since paternity testing has proven this to be a myth, they have moved to “biological/genetic connections don’t matter” and shaming language.

Maybe this will help.

So when a wife cheats on a husband, bears another man’s child, and then monopolizes the time and resources of her husband toward the raising of that child, she has stolen his reproductive sovereignty just as surely as hers would be stolen if she got pregnant by a male rapist and was forced to raise a child she didn’t want.

She has committed the equivalent of female rape.

And they will continue to do so as long as they can get away with it.

Don’t trust them.

Thus ends the first post in this series. Look for the next three things you need to know in a future post.