Wow Skippy!

I am always dazzled by how you manage to insert sex references into anything and everything!  Looking beyond that, you had some solid words of wisdom this week about failure and how to avoid setting yourself up for failure. And, I think that you had some good tips on setting up systems instead of goals. Small rewards do make big changes. I like this way of thinking; systems make for long term changes and goals inevitably have an end point. Definitely something positive to work on in the new year.

So, Skip gave some advice on making changes for the new year because on January 1, everything changes. Everything is re-set and all can start new and clean and fresh without any mistakes. Time to change! Time to make your life better! Screw the last year because there is a shiny new year with so many possibilities! And, according to Skippy, there is no excuse for failure.

Why?

I mean, I hate excuses just like anyone else because; if “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts we’d all have a Merry Christmas. In other words, too many ifs and buts make for unworthy excuses. There is such a thing as a good excuse, but most of the time excuses are just a lot of hot air. Failure does happen. Whether you set yourself up for it or not. I, for one, am glad that failure happens. What better way to humble yourself and learn from mistakes if not for failure?

One way I do think we set ourselves up for failure is the whole concept behind a new year. Talk about pressure. Who came up with the idea of a new year’s resolution anyway? Why the fuck does January 1 mark the time to make changes in your life? What if you are not ready? What if there are factors in your life that you can’t avoid making it impossible for change at this time? Yet society, or some sadistic asshole one day made it a tradition that you make a resolution at the beginning of the year. So everyone asks you what your resolution is and why you have made that resolution and how will you uphold yourself to said resolution. Again, you are just setting yourself up for failure.

Some people can’t think for themselves. It’s sad but true. When you decided to set up a system for yourself to make changes it should be on your own terms, not because someone else is pressuring you (or, in this case, the time of year). There are people out there who can’t make that decision on their own and they need the motivation of January 1 to decide to make a change. Lame. I say, start making up a system for yourself whenever you are damn well ready. If that date is January 1, then fine. If it is April 12, that is fine too. September 23? Great! March 31st? Super!  The first step to avoiding failure is being ready for whatever change you are going to make on your own terms.

It is OK to fail. Really, it is!

Shocking? It shouldn’t be. When you do decide to make a change in your life, do not be afraid to fail. This is the number one reason people decide not to make any change. If you go into any endeavor with the attitude that you are not allowed to fail, well, you have already failed. Every person on this planet is afraid of failure. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you tell yourself that it is OK to fail you are more likely to start making a change.

Why is it OK to fail?

1. What do we learn when things are easy?
2. We cannot grow and learn unless we fail now and then.
3. When we learn from a failure we find out more about ourselves and become more complete as a person.
4. Failure comes with wisdom, which, is the only cure for ignorance.
5. The harder you try the less likely you are to fail, but, if you do fail you will know you did everything in your power not to fail.
6. Therefore, you will not be able to have any lame excuses, because the failure was not your fault.
7. Even if the failure was your fault, you still accomplished something and that, my friend, is not a failure.

Trying something even though it may fail is still doing something worthwhile. Thinking outside of your box (no, Skippy, I do not mean a vagina) is one of the hardest things we, as humans, have to do. Figure out your system of change and develop your own way to succeed. Even if you fail, you will have learned something new about yourself, and that is winning in my book.

However you decide to live your life, make a good one. Not just a great year, but a great life. Make your decisions for change based on where you are in your life, not what time of year it is or because you “have” to make a resolution. Fail, fail, fail some more and then try again. You won’t always fail, especially if you make the right choices and set up realistic systems for yourself. It really is OK to fail now and again and I promise, people will still like you.