Here we are, the middle of March. The snow has finally let up its merciless bombardment, the sun has been shining and SPRING BREAK has finally arrived. Spring break means nothing to some of us here in Fort Collins, except the chance to get around the city in less traffic. I, myself am dreaming of a little vay-cay away.  Alas, no spring break for me while the boss is out of town. But, to students, teachers, and professors it means a week of freedom. A week of partying like it’s 2014. At least, for the students it is, and probably some teachers, and hopefully the professors. This blog post is for all of those who decided to take the week off and do the only thing that makes spring break worth while, party their ass off. Its the right thing to do.

Before I start, I must tip my hat to those who stick with to their guns and do the responsible thing. These are the students who stay home and study, work extra hours, ignore the raging, sex-fueled party next door. Good for you. Well done. You are a better person than I ever was. My advice to you? Learn to live a little. Life is too short to be holed up in your house playing video games and updating your Twitter every five minutes with things like “I just made a sandwich.” GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NOW OR YOU WILL DIE A VIRGIN.

I must say that there is a balance to spring break. Like a fine cocktail it must be carefully concocted to create the perfect palate pleasing pleasure trip.

The Good Ideas and Bad Ideas of Spring Break:

Good Idea: Doing something different and fun!

Bad Idea: Doing something different and fun that uses up the rest of your tuition money and causes a negative balance in your bank account.

Good Idea: Drinking in Moderation.

Bad Idea: Drinking until you black out and wake up next to some stranger who disregards the social convention of wearing deodorant. Naked. With a tattoo of bugs bunny on your ass.

Good Idea: Posting TASTEFUL pictures to Facebook and Twitter.

Bad Idea: Drunk texting or drunk posting to Facebook and Twitter. And on that note, posting too many selfies is obnoxious. Stop it.

Good Idea: Wearing a condom.

Bad Idea: Finding out that your life is going to change in oh, about 9 months time from that Spring Break one night stand.

Good Idea: Jumping into the deep end of the pool

Bad Idea: Jumping from the top of a roof into the deep end of the pool and hitting the concrete instead (lets not forget the Ram’s Village incident 2012)

Good Idea: Taking the time to visit family.

Bad Idea: Spending too much time with your family. Get out and have fun already.

Good Idea: Taking a budget friendly vacation. (I recommend Las Vegas. There are some super cheap hotel and airfare rates! My husband and I go twice a year)

Bad Idea: Mexico. Just don’t go. Unless you enjoy the shit show that is Spring Break down there, and enjoy having the runs for the next week.

*On the Vegas note, if you need advice on how to do up Vegas on the cheap, you should tap into my brain. Write to me here at Ask Us. But remember, what happens in Vegas does not, necessarily stay in Vegas. Like crabs.

Whatever you do just remember that there is such a thing as too much fun. Don’t overdo it and get ready for reality to come crashing back in less time than you think. And speaking of thinking, use your brain, dumbass. This list should be a no-brainer, but if you are not using your brain (or using your other brain- this means you fellas) bad things will happen. Bad. Things.

Check back Friday for Skippy’s Spring Break Survival Guide! What do you think of Robyn’s? Leave your comments below!

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Robyn’s Guide to Surviving Spring Break — 1 Comment

  1. Well, glad to know that drunk guy didn’t kill himself…but he learned a lesson the hard way.


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