I know what you mean. I have a big bone as well.
Let’s start with your friends. It’s true that sometimes friends can be very immature. All of us have our immature moments. Maybe your friends and the cafeteria chef are just playing a joke on you. Maybe it was an April Fools kinda prank. But maybe they aren’t joking.
Maybe your friends are concerned and they’re looking out for you. This nightmare you had sounds pretty terrible. After telling your friends about it I can understand why they would be concerned. I would not enjoy being operated on by aliens. Unless of course they look like some of those hot alien girls from the original Star Trek TV series. If that were the case we could do some serious deep space probing.
Was this a one time dream or is it reoccurring? If it’s a reoccurring dream you might have some problems in your life that need to be resolved. For example being dragged down the hallway might be a metaphor for your relationship with your father. That part of your nightmare where you receive an anal probe could have something to do with your dietary habits.
This nightmare could be your subconscious trying to tell you there are areas of your life that could use improvement.
If it’s only a nightmare.
This might have really happened. Aliens, or as they are more commonly called Visitors, have been documented all the way back to the original Thanksgiving and before. The fact that a symbiotic metamorphosis device came out of your ass is something you should be concerned about. Especially if you or someone that you are having sexual relationships with didn’t put it up your ass.
It’s a little-known fact that most school cafeteria chefs are experts on Visitors. There has been an extensive amount of scientific research done regarding alien anal probes. If your chef says it was a symbiotic metamorphosis device I would be inclined to believe him. In most cases the source of a symbiotic metamorphosis device in your anal cavity would be Visitors.
Unless you’ve been spending any time in California. Strange things happen in that state and unlike when you go to Vegas, what happens in California doesn’t stay in California.
Let’s say that aliens did give you an anal probe. What can you do about it?
The probe may have been a passive device that isn’t going to harm you at all. It will not even set off metal detectors at the airport as the Visitors use metal compounds beyond the understanding of human technology. First thing to do is determine if you are under alien control.
- Do you sometimes lack complete control over your actions?
- Do you have periods of missing time that you cannot account for?
- Do you uncontrollably break out in song and dance?
If you answer yes to any of these questions and you are not an alcoholic or an actor in musical theater (but I repeat myself) then you may be under alien control. The most important thing to do is remain calm. If the Visitors wanted to kill you they would’ve done so already. The fact that you’re still alive means they need you for some type of experiment.
Don’t be frightened by the prospect of being a laboratory experiment for highly advanced beings from another planet. College students are used in experiments all the time and it doesn’t hurt them much at all. It’s called “internship”.
Next time the symbiotic metamorphosis device emerges from your ass you must attempt to communicate with the Visitors to find out exactly what they want from you. If it was implanted by Visitors it will probably have a universal translator. Cafeteria chefs have theorized that visitors have been observing our planet for many centuries and are therefore quite familiar with the English language. If you can’t communicate with the Visitors through the symbiotic metamorphosis device you many have to communicate with them directly.
The best way to do this would be to tie yourself to a tree in a cow pasture. That will prevent you from panicking and running away when you see the Visitor’s space ship approaching. Running away is a completely normal response to seeing a Visitor space ship but not helpful if you want to talk with them.
You want to stage your encounter in a cow pasture because it’s well known that Visitors have an affinity for cows. Talk to your cafeteria chef. He can verify what I’m saying.
Once you make contact with the Visitors you can find out what they want of you. They may be attempting to convey their great wisdom to the human race. Or they might be looking for a one night stand with no strings attached. There are many theories about the intentions of the Visitors but no one knows for sure yet. Only that it usually involves turning cows inside-out.
Word of caution.
Do not attempt to remove the symbiotic metamorphosis device yourself. It should only be removed by the Visitors or a proctologist who has experience with alien implants.
If you can’t fix it, feature it. Some girls are into that stuff. You could also get a weekend gig performing in freak shows and at carnivals.