Lessons Learned The Hard Way: Take Care Of Your Equipment

there is your problem in fort collins

Heeheehee. I said “equipment”. I am Cornholio.  I must have TP for my bunghole! I just finished watching Beavis and Butt-head Do America. Therefore my mind currently resides in a dark place. If you want to score you have to take care of your equipment. When scoring time comes (I said “comes”) you can only score if your equipment is in top notch condition. Let’s start this story back in the olden days when everybody had to walk uphill to … Continue reading →

Easter Is In The Rearview Mirror.

Here we are on the rebound from a delicious Easter weekend of great weather.  I hope you got some of it and didn’t have to stay indoors all weekend.  Like I did.  Grrr…. Anyhows, on Wednesday I’ll be slinging some Lessons Learned The Hard Way at you.  Yet again another chance for you to learn from the mistakes of others.  Don’t never say no one told you. On Friday Robyn and I will be offering up our 75 cents on … Continue reading →

He Says: Everyone’s A Little Bit Krazy

Dear Not Krazy About Kinky; You need to chose now. Do you want to spend the rest of your life living a shallow comfortable life? Do you want you social life to revolve around posting selfies of yourself in front of disaster areas where people were injured and possibly killed? Do you want to never work again because you are getting 50% of your ex-husbands income? Or do you want to die alone with 37 cats? You have a great … Continue reading →

Skippy Responds: What Is Less Important Than Dogs? You.

Read the full story from Neil here: http://nbeener.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-destruction-of-medically-disabled.html Looks like Neil got himself a big does of that Fort Collins community. I can feel Neil’s pain but what needs to be addressed here is all of Neil’s mistakes and his denial of reality. I’m not doing this to insult or make fun of Neil. I’m doing it so that others may learn from his mistakes. It also would have been helpful if Neil had consulted an asshole early in the … Continue reading →

Unsolicited Advice: Fifty Shades of Green

St. Patrick’s Day has come and gone and try as I might I really don’t care. What is it with people who go through their lives looking for a reason to get drunk? That’s a rhetorical question. I know the answer. Today’s unsolicited advice isn’t for all of you but it is for some of you. I spent my St. Patrick’s Day at a party with friends where nobody got drunk because we all drink in moderation. We also celebrated … Continue reading →

He Says: Have I Mentioned You Can’t Change Other People?

Dear Troubled With Trying; You are both stupid. That’s the answer. Now I have to pad this out to 800 words. What should you do? You should stop expecting other people to change so that you can be happy. If you want children why did you marry a man who doesn’t want children? Because you thought he was going to change in order to make you happy. That’s why. Everything you wrote tells me that he wasn’t enthusiastic about having … Continue reading →

Things Fort Collins Needs To Get Over

Life is short. You need to focus your attention on things that are truly important. That means you need to let go of things that don’t matter. It means you need to move on. It means you need to put on your big girl panties. You need to let go of some anger and free up some emotional space in your life. You need to have a nice big steaming hot cup of shut the fuck up. Aren’t you happy … Continue reading →

Skippy Responds: The Dreamer’s Dream

Robyn’s a bigger man than I am. She watched the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. I don’t think I have the constitution for that. I’d sooner poke my eyes out with a burning stick. Robyn says the movie isn’t about rape. I was going to write in a sarcastic way about how this movie is about rape culture with references to feminists who claim all sex is rape and that if a man looks at a woman that is rape. … Continue reading →

Unsolicited Advice: 50 Shades of Who Gives A Fuck?

Ya know what’s great about being me? Other than having sex with your girlfriend that is. Not having to care about pop culture. Not only do I not care about pop culture – I’m hardly even aware of pop culture. Of course so people would say I’m hardly even aware. At all. Speaking of things I’m hardly aware of . . . Fifty Shades of Grey. Apparently there is now a movie based on the book which was originally a … Continue reading →

He Says: Your Dating Ladder Is Against The Wrong Wall

Dear Dating and Doubting; Here’s the problem with internet dating. Any woman who needs to use a website to find a man is broken. Maybe she’s ugly. Maybe she’s fat. Maybe she’s a bitch. Maybe she’s a feminist. But I repeat myself. All a woman has to do in order to meet men is: Leave her house, put down the cell phone and be nice to people. And yes, most women your age (as I’m guessing you are in your … Continue reading →